


Hit an’ Miss

by Foxtron



Category: Letterkenny (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 04:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16736724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxtron/pseuds/Foxtron
Summary: Wayne does not approve of a well-dressed Darry. It always brings in vultures.





	Hit an’ Miss

**Author's Note:**

> I’ll come back over this tomorrow and see what needs fixing. I freakin love Letterkenny and I wanted to make something for it since were such a tiny fandom.

_Take me out to the ball game._

 

 

 

It's a Wednesday night at Modean's and Darry has about the entire place captivated.

It's funny, in a way, how _good_ Darry can look when he tries. When he gets out of those dirty coveralls, washes his hair, puts on actual cologne instead of that banana boat shit. Darry's always been cute, especially with the dumbass lovable look he wears, but he's goddamn _attractive_ in a nice tucked-in shirt with the sleeves rolled up and clean jeans.

Wayne's not the only one who notices either. Like clockwork the minute they walk in and take their normal seats Katy's boys, Jonesy and Riley, are all up in Darry's area. One on either side like the world's dumbest, prettiest bookends.

 

_(Strike one) "hey baby do you come here often?"_

 

"Wow bud, your looking pretty good there tonight, Darry!" It's Jonesy that starts it all off, he’s got his normal sunglasses on even though the bar is dark as is.

"Yeah, buddy your snipin' tonight. What's the occasion?" Riley squeezes in closer to his other half, Darry stuck between them. His hand closes around Jonesy neck.

And Darry… Stupid, stupid Darry doesn't even have a clue.

"Ah nothin' much tonight boys. Just havin' a drink up with everyone after chorin' all day." Darry smiles sweetly up at Riley, then turns and does the same with Jonesy.

 

_(Strike two) "hey baby now what's your sign?"_

 

Riley smileys dopely back but like any red blooded bisexual male with Darry's sugary sweet eyes on them, Jonesy's game goes out the door like a dog with a truck comin' up the drive. "Uh, well, boys, I mean- buddy, I um, I mean- Riley, bud, we gotta go!" Jonesy stumbles away from Darry, dragging Riley along with him. Riley goes willingly but doesn't make it a quiet exit. 

 

_(Strike three) "hold on now where you goin'?"_

 

Darry looks bemused, while Squirrely Dan just shakes his head. "Those boys gots it bads for yous, Darry. Did yah’ sees the ways they couldn't take their eyes off yours nice shirt?"

Darry just laughs and takes a sip of his puppers, "Nah, Dan. Probably just curious where Katy Kat is. Not sure why they left so sudden an' all but-"

"No, I'm tellings yous Darry, those twos have it bads for you tonight. How's about you gos and finds them, shows them a good time."

Wayne snorts.

"Dar couldn't show a pig a good time in a mud pit filled with all the leftovers from Thanksgiving dinner, Squirrely Dan. Not sure how much use he'd be between dumb and dickhead." Or how well Wayne'd take it if the pretty boy fuckheads lured Darry away when he looked so good.

"Hey!"

  _Jimmy's out next in line._

 

—

 _Swing_  
_Batter, batter swing_  
_Batter, batter swing  
Batter, batter swing_

—

Unsurprisingly, it's the Skids that try their luck next.

Devon, Stewart and Roald scurry into the bar a half hour after the hockey players made their escape and automatically zero in on Darry. Wayne can see the two leader Skids fight (if it can be called fighting when they just mime it out at each other.) it out over who gets to try their luck on Darry first. Wayne can feel his fists clench even tighter then normal. He needs a shot.

Looks like it's Stewart that wins the Skid sally fight since he's the one the slides up first. With a furtive look at Wayne's pissed off face he quickly darts between Dan and Darry instead of trying his luck with Wayne's fast thinning patience. It's hard enough keeping his hands to himself normally, Darry's got no rights lookin' like what Wayne wants his next sweetie to look like.

 

_(First base) "why yes I went to Harvard"_

 

"Well _,_ hello Daryl. Salutations, indeed, one might even say good evening on this… salacious night."

Darry doesn't seem to know what to do with Stewart's leering look. He's looks at Dan who shrugs at him, he looks at Wayne who has no idea what his face looks like but must be bad for Darry to get that dumb look on _his_ face after the fact. Even Gail is staring, struck dumb at Stewart trying to be alluring.

Darry still turns to talk to Stewart, being the sweet guy he is. Even to fucking Skids who don't know when the _fuck_ to skedaddle.

"Ah… How'r ya now, Stewart?" Darry nervously moves his puppers away from Stewart. The guy's been known to pop ecstasy into unsuspecting beer bottles when no one was looking. Harmless, but annoying.

"Oh yes, your habitable hick greeting. I suppose I'm required to say, 'Good n' you?' Correct?"

To the side of all this madness, Squirrely Dan sat on his bar stool and couldn't help but mutter a, "Good lords.." under his breath. This was turning painful.

 

_(Big lead) "I majored in pre-med"_

 

"It's just weird now, bud. You can't say, "I should say.." and then say what your supposed to say originally. That's not how it works. Ya' say 'Good n' you,' then I say 'Not'so'bad' even if it is bad. _That's_ how it works."

"Yesyesyesyes yes, _Daryl._ I understood how your ceremonies go. But I have no desire to depersonalize myself for your debase demands!" Stewart sneered into Darry's face then seemed to realize what he was doing and tried for an uneasy smile. Darry looked like he didn't know if the Skid was on meth right then or not.

Wayne shouldn't be so happy with watching Stewart crash and burn on take off but damn if it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Well I ain't demanding nothin' of you there, Stewart! You just walked up here an' started chirpin' in my ear like a little bird!" Darry stood up and banged his hands on the table causing the bottles to shake. A few fell from the top to shatter on the ground. Not the worst thing that's happened to Modean's but annoying as losing beer always is.

 

_(Picked off) "just stayed for one semester"_

 

Stewart scrambled away at the first raised voice, tripping over his own feet and falling into Roald and Devon. Both of who had appeared hissing when Gail motioned them over. It'd been pretty obvious where this was going to begin with.

"Ruffians! Reputable rapscallion's! How _dare_ you raise your voice to meeee-!" Wayne's thrown puppers bottle caught Stewart right in the throat cutting off whatever other Skid thing he was planning on saying. Roald hissed like a stepped on rat and Devon, the only semi-intelligent Skid in the whole town, dragged them both out the front door before Stewart could recalibrate or whatever it was Skids did when smacked, and only minutes after they'd come in.

But not before giving Darry a smoldering glance, that he'd completely missed but had Wayne almost bursting out of his chair to glare after him. Fuckin' Skids, almost worse then Degens.

When Wayne was sure they wouldn't be back to try again that night, he sat down and refocused on Squirrely Dan and Darry. Who was comforting his best bud.

"Nows don't bes listening to them, Darry. Skids don't know nothin' bout nothin withs havin's to do with lookin' nice."

"I don't know, Squirrely Dan. I'm not even sure why Katys wanted me out like this tonight. I was happy enough in my work clothes." Darry ran a hand through his slicked back hair and Wayne had to hold back a groan. He looked like he was wearing exactly what he'd had on at that wedding, underneath that god awful dad suit. This was all Katy's fault.

"We were all happier with you in your work clothes, Dar. You always stir up trouble that don't got nothin to do with scrappin' when your outta them." Wayne said outwardly stoic. At least he hoped.

Darry turned towards Wayne and whined. "Now that's just not fair, bud. How is it _my_ fault people start actin' crazy for whatever reason when I don't wear my overalls?"

"It just is Darry, figure it out."

 

_Tom's out, who's next?_

—

_Everybody strikes out nine times out of ten,_

_But you gotta step up to the plate son, cause every now and then..._

—

 

Wayne can't take the stares inside the bar with Darry completely oblivious, so he heads outside for a solo dart break. It's cold as shit outside but it's better than watching the way Darry's forearms tense whenever he moves and being unable to glare the bar into scared silence when they also noticed.

Wayne lights his dart and stands to the side of the bar, unsure what exactly he's doing out there. He's not the type of guy to hesitate when he wants something. Hell, he even stopped seeing Tanis when she brought up Darry as his boyfriend. He'd done the best he could at the time to pull her attention off it but that girl was clever as a coyote and twice as vicious. She hadn't let it, or him, go until she'd gotten all she'd wanted.

And what she wanted was Wayne to admit he wanted his best bud ferociously. In every way he could have him. Katy might have been the one to get him fightin’ again, but Darry's the one who's never doubted he'd still been the toughest guy in Letterkenny even when he didn't fight.

Wayne shivered and blamed it on the cold, and not on the memory of the way Darry had looked at him when he'd taken Angie's new sally fella out that night outside old Modean's. He hadn't seen Darry's eyes look that bright in years.

 

_(Fastball) she walked right up to me_

 

The door behind him slammed open.

One of the ups on being known as the toughest guy in Letterkenny was that people didn't try and sneak up on you. Darry had never been one to sneak around anyways. Wayne didn't even have to catch a whiff of that rarely used cologne to know it was Darry coming out there after him. It was always Darry. It had always been Darry.

"Havin' some issues there, big shoots?" That voice could tell him to kill a man and he'd probably do it before he could think. That voice was dangerous.

"Not anymore then your having, little shoots. Finally get away from Gail?" Everything about Darry was dangerous for Wayne.

Darry's voice sighed from beside him, a hand coming up to his face to ask for a light, "I don't know what's up with her tonight, bud. Normally she's all over you, but tonight's like I gotta' sign on that says, 'I'm actually Wayne. Don't be fooled by this goofy appearance.' It's weird."

Wayne couldn't do much about the cig light seeing as he'd busted his last slamming it against the wall when he'd first lit it, all in frustration about Darry and the town folks. With nothin' else for it and wanting to be as close to Darry as he ever could, Wayne leaned down as the other man was complaining about people not wanting to leaving him alone to drink with his best buds, and lit the dart with his own.

Darry froze when Wayne leaned in, dart pressed tip to tip. He couldn't help but think Darry's eyes were a prettier blue then any ice he'd ever seen.

Wayne leaned back when he was sure the flame had caught and stared at Darry in contemplation. He hadn't backed away or done any other type of thing a best bud would do when your best bud got a little too close for happy company. It was interesting.

 

_(Smack) said "could I take you home?"_

 

Darry swallowed dryly around his dart and quickly turned his back to Wayne. Now, Wayne had known Darry for most of their lives. He' an' Katy' an' Darry had been a family long before Squirrely Dan had shown up. So Wayne knew exactly what Darry looked like hiding a boner. Knew that Darry fuckin' sucked at keeping secrets.

But Darry was hiding a boner right now and who knows how long he'd kept this secret from Wayne.

Katy obviously knew, Tanis too now that he's thinkin' about it. No wonder she'd been doin' everything she could to scare him away. And she'd called Daryl his boyfriend. What kind of woman does that to a man she's having relations with? At best it's taken as a comment on the close bond a man has with his best bud, at worst it's taken as your callin' your man a sally. And no man likes to be called a sally.

Wayne sighed and flicked his dart away.

He was gonna' have to do this all himself since it seemed Darry was happy with keepin it a secret.

Stalking the few feet between him and Darry, Wayne hung himself over Darry's back and shoulders in a way he'd only ever dreamed of before. He'd never thought this would happen, but Darry's a shit (mostly) liar. He couldn't hid this again if he tried. Not that Wayne would let him.

Darry stiffened up, of course. He hadn't a clue Wayne wanted to eat him up, only his own feelings and no words from the man on his back. He also knew he was a shit liar. The game was up. 

"Now, here's the thing bud." Wayne snaked his hands down and under Darry's shirt. He moved up slowly as he was talking. "I wants to fuck ya' bad in those nice clothes you got on."

Darry's breath caught and the dart fell out of his mouth when Wayne's big, calloused hands squeezed his pecks, thumbs moving lazily across hard nipples.

"But so does everyone else." Wayne crowded Darry front first against the wall beside the door. If he looked just a small bit to the right they could see all their friends inside. "I told you these clothes were startin' trouble that had nothin' to do with scrapin."

Wayne's knee moved up behind and in between Darry's legs, pushing the shorter man up into Wayne's thigh.

"I don't like it when everyone else also wants my sweetie. It gives me fightin' feelings, Dar." Wayne's right hand suddenly pinched Darry's nipple hard. Darry moaned loudly but quickly covered his mouth with one of his useless hands.

Wayne smirked faintly against the back of Darry's neck.

 

_(Could be) "hey boys I'll see you later"_

"So what do you say, Dar? Wanna be my sweetie and go do some toe curlin' ?" In all the years Wayne has known Darry, has watched the man fight, he'd never seen someone, anyone, move that fast.

Darry had pushed away from the wall and turned around so quickly, it almost gave Wayne whiplash and all he'd done was watch.

But Darry's eyes were bright, his face had that same lovable expression it always wore when around his friends and he had Wayne's thick neck squeezed in his hand. It was damn near the hottest thing he'd ever seen. Or maybe that was just Darry as he always was.

"Well, Pitter patter, Wayne."

Wayne's naturally stern expression eased as he leaned in. "Pitter patter, Dar."

 

 

_Goin', goin', goin', gone!_

**Author's Note:**

> The song used in this fic is Swing by Trace Adkins. You should definitely go listen to it. 
> 
> It’s funny, Darry was supposed to be the one coming on to Wayne in this, but damn if Darry couldn’t find a needle in a hospital. That man had to be led by the nose to the fact Wayne likes him just as much as Darry likes him. 
> 
> Lovable goof.


End file.
